I am not bossy, I AM the boss

Yesterday I’ve come across this sentence (Beyonce wrote it if you must know) and it hit me. Have you ever been called bossy, pushy, aggressive and – this goes to all the women out there – have you ever been said that you act like a man and you need to act more like a woman?

 

I have. It was more of a “you have such high standards” form, but it was meant for me to ease a little… To be calm as a river. To be more of a “woman”. What?

I had the opportunity to work in all male work place, and I tell you, it was awesome at first. Being the one of three females there I wasn’t feeling any different. But I was there for temporary, not to stay. When the possibility of us new-comers to stay for good emerged, I got to see the good and the ugly. The sexism. The understatement. The rudeness. I can tell you, my male colleagues were treated the same, it is an initiation. Show us what you can do. But, without the sexism part. Which left me in some situations sick in my stomach and I had to leave. I have seen my female colleague being treated very badly and called names. I had to leave that day. It was NOT normal. I am sure that if the male person were against the one that was sexist, he would also experience some verbal abuse. But not the sexism.

I was in college and had to quit that job due to my exams. But did not forget. I have had the opportunity to work there with amazing people, outstanding in their profession and around them I felt like a boss. I had the situation under my hands, they gave me the freedom and I was telling people what to do (other college students) in order to get everything done. I was not afraid to do that, I was not rude, I was effective. I was THE BOSS.

And one amazing man he was said to me, you look good in the boss chair. You will be an editor. The editor-assistent (second most important personย there) said the same. I laughed. I considered it to be more of a way to make me feel proud than the truth. But now I look back and know they just saw my potential. They saw I can be an effective leader. They were telling the truth. I CAN be the boss.

So now I tell you… When I’m told to ease… To be more like a river, like a “women”, I apologise for coming too aggressive. But I do not apologise for being me. And I do tell you, I am a river. I sometimes go easy… I sometimes almost stay still and reflect the sun. But sometimes I go rushing like a thunder into waterfalls! I crush my obstacles like a raging river crushes the trees that come in her way… I am not to be joked with. Like you would not joke with a river who is coming down in a high-speed, tumbling and twirling, throwing stones up in the air like they are paper…

So yes, I am a river. ๐Ÿ˜‰

This is a part of today Daily Prompt: Never Surrender

Disclaimer: I found this amazing video on upworthy.com

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25 thoughts on “I am not bossy, I AM the boss

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  4. Great post. I’ve struggled a lot with what it means to be a woman in a male-dominated workforce, especially since I’m a mediator by nature, someone who likes to smooth things over and not cause friction. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that there are times when I have to stand up for myself, even if it scares me, or I’ll never be heard. It’s not achieving that worries me, it’s suffocating under the weight of my self-imposed fears and shame. So I have to express myself, to shake off the weight I accumulate from staying meek and silent when it’s really time to shout. And every day, the more I challenge myself to just say what’s on my mind, the stronger I feel, and the more I know that though I never want to be the boss of others, I’m definitely growing into being my own boss just fine ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Your comment is summary of what many of us feel. ๐Ÿ™‚ You said it honestly and I agree with you. We should do as we want, not hushing ourselves when it’s time to speak and show where we stand. Thank you for visiting. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  8. flow free…

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  14. knowledgeaddiction

    What does it mean to be “more like a woman ” ? You are who you are. Don’t change that !

    • Thank you ^^ ๐Ÿ™‚ It is in a context of being more quiet and letting the men take action. Being a good listener, not expressing my own ideas and make others listen.

      Not to worry, I consider myself very outspoken and not afraid of telling something, but I was very young and even today when I found myself surrounded with older males I tend to back down. Stay quiet.

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  19. Great post! Reminds me of I am Woman Hear Me Roar! xoxo

    • Heheh I’m glad it does ๐Ÿ˜€ We don’t need to apologise to anyone. I go with feminism (being the feminist that I am) as I go with everything else. Equality. Kindness. Being human. Women can’t go around screaming about double-standards and acting rude. Be a person and you will get respect, whether female or male. But I also stand firmly behind stopping the sexism. It shows who is a person telling the sexist things, not who is a person targeted with them.

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