I am stubborn. I admit it.
When growing up and even now I find myself in conversations where older people or a close friend is trying to give a suggestion of what should I do, how should I feel or an advice for future me. Those are usually in good will, just sharing what they think it is (would be) right for me.
But, all I can hear is: I THINK YOU SHOULD DO THIS AND THIS AND THIS… YOU HAVE TO…
I really can’t help it! Although I am open for advices that I actually feel close to, I have an instant reflex of shutting down my walls and getting defensive about it. Then they tell me: “Why can’t you take a suggestion?” which makes me frown even more.
Don’t think I don’t listen to other people. Oh, I DO. I think others are always smarter than me, that others know what I should do and that others indeed, know how I should feel. I don’t do this consciously. That is why my instant reaction comes in. My body is trying to protect me by shutting down most of it.
So, the most powerful advices I have got were from the people I trust enough to open up too. And my stubbornness comes from the fact I need to see in my skin if something is or isn’t. You would have thought I’m an atheist. 😀
And here comes the best advice I remember often.
Both, situations and people are powerless without your reaction.
I don’t recall where I have read it or who said it, but it is so true.
Now, I think the best advice to give is love. Not love as for someone else, but love for yourself and universal love. Because when you’re in your situation and your skin, only you know what is best. And if you approach yourself with judgement you can make damage and further dislocate yourself from the solution. But if you do it with love, your inner you will tell you what feels right. 🙂