I refuse to feel bad about myself!

Today is one of those days. You know, when you can count 100 things you don’t like just by looking in a mirror… Ahhhh… I feel unattractive today. But I refuse to talk myself down in my head.

My skin looks terrible, I have so many little scars and zits.

My hair looks… I don’t wanna look at it. Hairstyle is nonexistent and ugly and color didn’t catch on like I wanted to.

I have bags under my eyes. And my eyes look weird.

I have double chin.

I need to take care of depilation.

My teeth look yellow and my front tooth is chipped. I hate it.


Ok. I am mean to myself. Lets try something else…

My skin is amazing, it catches tan so fast I already look like I have been sunbathing. I also have a scar creme which will help smooth-en the skin on my cheeks.

I will wash my hair today and treat it with conditioner. I love the fact that I cut it because it is so hot today, and the color thing – I will go to hair stylist to ask how much does it cost to dye it completely. I am so glad my hair is so grateful and full of volume so I can do this stuff and experiment.

I have bags under my eyes and look pale because I was in pain last two days. I also feel tired because of it. Pain = exhausted. I will nurture myself as soon as my monthly thing goes away.

I don’t know if that is a double chin or my throat is swollen because I can’t breathe properly through my nose. I will clean my nose with salt water today and the throat will no longer be swollen.

Again… I was in pain last two days. I will take care of everything, just relax. Slow. Thankfully, the pain is almost gone.

My teeth really do look yellow but I am going next week to see my dentist about the chipped tooth so I will ask him about that also.


Do I feel better now? Hmmmm, honestly not really, but I don’t feel worse – where my thinking was leading me. I was full honest today with you to show you how I think, even though I am all pro positive self-image and confidence, I am human. We all do this and I think it is unnecessary and I don’t want to feel bad about myself. I don’t want to feel ugly. Because I’m not.

I want to be associated withΒ changing the things that drown me to my floating devices. With the process of healing, with what my sister immediately connected me when I asked her.



Now, I promised that I will write a story. πŸ˜‰

I will tell it how I remember it and add bunch of details of my own.


Once upon a time, there was a city called Frogville. In the Frogville, every frog lived happy and jumped around. Frogs said hello to their neighbors and peace and harmony ruled. One day, there was a competition announced. They have built a big rock, very very tall. It said; The winner is the one who climbs on top of that rock first and will be admired and respected. Every frog in Frogville wanted to be the winner. They trained their skills, they approved their jumping and climbing abilities just to be on top of their game on the day of competition. It became the most important thing in Frogville. Finally, the Competition Day came. Excited, the competitors lined up beneath the huge rock and the crowd gather around from all the Frogville to watch and cheer. Bam! The start was marked! The frogs started fast, jumping and climbing and avoiding obstacles. The crowd was cheering loud and supporting their favorites. The frogs got pretty high and some of them slowed down. It was scary after all, to be so high from the ground. Some of the frogs gave up and returned down. But many continued. The rock was hard to climb and some of the frogs gave up and returned down. But still, a lot of them continued. The rock was also unstable and the frogs could easily fall if they weren’t careful. So, some of the frogs gave up and returned down. Now there was only few frogs left, a dozen of them, still jumping, still climbing to the top. Crowd which was cheering suddenly became worried and they started yelling to the remaining frogs:

“Come down, you can’t make to the top! It’s to high! You can’t make it!”

And they yelled and yelled. “You can’t make it! Come down!”

One by one, frogs were giving up.

“You can’t make it!”

Three frogs remained in the competition. Still climbing. Still jumping.

“You can’t make it!” – echoed from below from many voices.

Slowly one frog gave up. And then one more.

Only one frog was left and it was jumping and climbing to the top.

“You can’t make it! Come down!”

But the frog continued, jumping and climbing every jump closer to the top. Finally, the frog reached the top of the rock! The crowd was ecstatic! That one frog was the winner!

When the frog returned to the ground, they asked;

“How come everyone else gave up, but you continued all the way to the top?”

The frog just stared at them. It was deaf.



9 thoughts on “I refuse to feel bad about myself!

    1. Thank you so much,I feel warm around my heart, I am happy that my writing managed to do that. It is so nice of you to share that with me, thank you πŸ™‚ ❀

  1. Hahaha I like that you were honest and admitted that you didn’t really feel better afterwards πŸ™‚
    I try to talk myself outta funks when I get them, but sometimes you just have to feel it. Good luck de-funking me when it is my time of the month or each morning before I have brushed my teeth and made coffee or tea πŸ™‚

    1. I did feel better reading it a couple of times πŸ˜€ But yeah, it’s that time of the month and I think some other stuff are bothering me… I talk to myself to see what is really what’s making me feel bad, the chipped tooth is just the surface… It helps to be aware that the tooth is not really the problem, but something else which I figured out later.
      I love the term defunking haha

  2. That was a cool story, I loved how it ended πŸ™‚

    Regarding what you were saying about when you look in the mirror, about a month ago I saved a copy of something Lindsey Stirling wrote on her facebook page, because it really resonated in me, and your blog article reminds me of it. So here’s a copy/paste of it (and I really want to write a blog article on this topic someday soon, so maybe I will this weekend πŸ™‚ ) –

    “What do you see when you look in the mirror? I honestly used to see someone I didn’t like; there were so many things that I hated about myself. I thought they were all on the outside: my imperfect skin, my cheeks were too big, could I see my rib cage, did my thighs touch… If I didn’t see what I wanted to see I felt like I had no worth. But what I was really afraid of was what was inside. I had to learn to love myself on the inside before I could be happy with what I saw on the outside. I worked really hard to learn to love myself and it started every morning with the mirror. Even though i didn’t believe it, I would look into the mirror and say “you are beautiful, you are smart, you’re a daughter of god…” The same way I learned to play the violin, I practiced positive thinking so I could to love the real me.” -Lindsey Stirling

    1. I love the quote and her way of explaining how she learned to love herself. I have talked about my way many times – but you weren’t following me then πŸ˜‰
      I was really hateful toward myself and I transitioned into loving myself. It took time and I wrote about the process and stuff that helped me. I do love myself, although I admit that I have really high expectations from me… But knowing that helps me to put that on a more realistic scale… Thanks for the quote. πŸ™‚
      Btw I think it’s so sad that we have to learn to love our self…. Why doesn’t it come naturally?

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