Shhh… Can I tell you a secret?

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With Valentine’s Day close I want to talk about it. OK, write about it. ☺

If you didn’t know that Valentine’s Day is this Saturday you probably haven’t open any online media or social network, they tend to go more and more hyper about this day as it approaches. I’m not gonna go in the “hate it or love it” debate, neither I’m gonna say that whether single or in a relationship you don’t need a day to appreciate people you love, and most definitely I won’t say that you as a person are so incredible and enough and whole even tho I mean it. Ops, I said it. 😉

I’m just gonna say something.

Valentine’s Day is like Santa for adults.

It’s made by companies to make us buy more shit stuff.

Lets be honest, if companies could make 10 more “holidays” just to sell specific items – they would do it! They would. Like in that song…

“What’s love gotta do with it, gotta do with it…”

Almost nothing. The thing that is good from it that it is a reminder not to take our loved ones for granted. And also, we all love getting stuff. I know I do. 😀

If you have zero balance on your account but still want to give something to your loved one(s), I will share the pillow I made for my friend’s baby girl. It was the first time I tried this specific sewing method so it turned out GREAT. You can use any fabric you want, as long as it is easy to sew… Oh, and you’re gonna need to cut open a few of your stuffed animals. You’re gonna feel sorry (At least I did) but it’s for the greater good. 😉

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I took a red cotton shirt and cut out the edges. Then I wrote her name following the lines I placed with thin black marker. Then I made the shape of a heart inside out and sew it that way, it just looks better when you do it that way. In the bag next to it on the third photo is my “stuffing”. I left the bottom open, turn the heart on the right side, place the stuffing and then sew the end by hand.

Finished! 🙂 The baby body next to it was the other part of my gift. I decoupaged the lines from my friend’s favorite show The Big Bang Theory. 🙂

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Uhmmmm… What?

Warning: It is OK and encouraged to laugh at this post. But not too much.

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I officially don’t understand this illness.

There, I said it.

I was thinking of doing a list of all things it made me go through – in a kinda pissed off yet humorous way (my favorite kind of way) but the list is getting too long!!

Lets try to crack this mofo down. Symptoms.

Cold; running nose, sore throat, cough, headache, head feels like a balloon and you generally feel like crap.

Flu; Very high temperature, muscle ache, very heavy cough

This illness? BOTH.

I have felt that something is just not right few days after the New Year’s Day. My throat was hurting and I didn’t feel well. Since by that time my sis was few days into a serious illness where she couldn’t swallow from pain and had all of the symptoms of a cold I kinda figured that I got it and went “Oh no. No. Oh no.” in my head. Then mum got it and they both got antibiotics (which are given for the bacterial infections!) and I was still in the Status Quo. Well, few days later no more status quo for me! Muscle ache. Real bad. Cried of pain. (This is supposed to be slightly funny but hey it gets “better”). Luckily found a creme for (against?) pain to massage all over my back. That creme and few others were my new besties.

I was still enthusiastic. Hey I had temperature just over 37 degrees. USA you need to give up the Fahrenheit. OK fine, there: 98.6 F.

But next day. Nope. Not even gonna go there. Temperature close to 39 degrees and over (102.2 F) and in next days going from 37 – 39 in 15-20 minutes. Boy, that was an experience I thought I will never have to get familiar with. This temperature stuff happened more at night so I was alone with my thoughts up until pill for taking down the temperature started working. FUN. Not being able to move because I was too damn cold. I got cramps because I did not want to move until it got hot. Oh, and when it got hot, I was ON THE SUN. My legs were so hot (Amazing start of a sentence in a different occasion) that, and I shit you not, my body hair curled!

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I thought (not in one occasion) “Okay I’m gonna die this way.” Not a pleasant thought when you feel like Superman on a bed of Kryptonite. So, you ask me, did I got scared? i have other issues going on with my health and yes, I got super scared! One night I panicked and as I was having a panic attack I started to sweat and I thought to myself “Great, the temperature will go down now.

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My doctor was a delight and she admitted me without appointment. I was having about 38.5 C at the moment and a kind woman in the waiting room asked me if I was alright. No, kind lady, but thank you, it’s nice to be the sickest at the doctors. It was either my doctor or emergency room. Fortunately she said it was virus-related so I didn’t need antibiotics, told me to drink huge amount of liquids which I already did and keep taking down the temperature.

Speaking about liquids I think I drank liters of tea/juice/water/anything drinkable really in that 5 days as I normally would in like… two months.

I just realized I took you on this painful journey with me. I’m sorry. I will make a virtual cookies. There.

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Where was I? Oh yes… After five days the temperature finally dropped and wasn’t coming back, so I didn’t took a pill for reducing it. Mistake. The temperature that night made a comeback like a band on a concert when you think it’s over but…ei, they they are with one more song! That was the last song of the temperature… SO FAR. I am trying not to jinx myself. So I unknowingly enter phase two of this whatever it is. Recovering.

I was so happy first few days that I wasn’t burning like a hamburger on a barbecue that I haven’t noticed how slowly the recovery goes with this. I am not kidding. I felt like I had 200 kilos and this hippopotamus here needed half a minute to get to the bathroom few feet away. Food – no interest. I thought I had lost weight for sure but I didn’t. I have no idea how. I did eat like small meals and drank a mixture of a lot of fruit and veggies home-made. My sis made a fast recovery but she is not feeling extra well again. My mum and I – we were snails in a snail race. Every day just a lil’ bit faster. So I entered the third phase.

Boredom.

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I was happy at first that I was bored – you think I would learn with the first wave of happiness. But then I got REALLY bored and low energy so no out of bed. There is only so many things you can do that don’t involve moving or watching TV. I listened to a lot of stand up comedy on my mobile, and even that got boring. Then it hit me all the stuff I was planning to do, and places I wanted to go and how none of that happened… You know, fun stuff again. And after like what it seemed like a lifetime of low energy boredom I entered the phase I am in now. The “What?” phase.

I got enthusiastic about food again. YAY! I also started to feel smells and I can kinda hear again normally (ears got clogged). I can move faster, I can watch at screens more. I can even wash my glass when I put the new tea in! Ha! It’s the small victories that count. It is still weird how slooooooooooow the recovery goes but I have read about something that made me rethink it all and it’s not terrible. It is frustrating, boring, it sucks big time, it is confusing but there are people who have it much worse. Heart shutout to them ❤

The “What?” phase is called like that because I started again to have some of the first symptoms like sore throat, clogged sinuses and headache. I am hoping SO MUCH I am not stuck in a Groundhog illness. Please, oh, please.

Also I got all of your comments which I respond when I feel well enough or bored enough to not care about how I feel. I love them, keep ’em coming! ❤ And speaking of groundhog we are waiting some sort of snow blizzard in Croatia that is supposed to make us go “wow” and “oh no” at the same time. It is snowing as I type and… eh. Who cares. I’m in bed anyway.

p.s. I realized I handled (handling) this like a champ. Very proud. 🙂

How do your pets “behave” during the holidays?

Whether or not you celebrate Christmas on 25th December or on 7th January and New Year on 31 December or Chinese New Year (I don’t know the date), or you don’t celebrate anything religious, there is probably a time in your house when something is happening. Something is celebrated and things aren’t like they are rest of the year. Decorations come up, people are coming and going, there is more action and stuff going on than regular… And our pets get in the middle of all this. 😀

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My cat is my only pet so far that I really had. Others were more like neighborhood pets when we kids would take care of some stray cat. Kiki was my first experience with cats + Christmas tree. Hahaha… Well. Lets just say we get presents, Kiki gets the big ass tree in the living room. 😀

First few years disasters were inevitable. She was playing with ornaments, getting them to fall of, crash few of the balls who left behind that sad silver magic dust of dead Christmas ball… One year she even knocked down the entire tree! 😀 I don’t know how she did it… But last few years she is showing more interest for the tree itself than the decorations. She had realized that we can’t reach her when she is under the tree so she goes there and munch on it, chewing…well…everything. Us yelling and shoo-ing her away doesn’t do much, she does it anyway when we go to sleep. Like a Santa. A hungry vegetarian Santa who munches on Christmas trees. Now that is a start of a horror movie.

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My attempt of capturing the mischievous rascal today. 🙂

Anyhowdilywho… She is more chill with the whole Christmas season. Except – The New Year’s Eve.

We live in a place where people…how do I say it so it doesn’t sound wrong… Like to shoot things. Fireworks. Firecrackers. Firecrackers in a bottle. Rockets. Anything. As long as it’s loud, we do it. I am saying “we” for the sake of the story I don’t do it. I don’t have the time! I have to watch all the fireworks going on 😀

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Do not be mistaken – we have an official fireworks going on somewhere in the central square, but we have like thousands of mini fireworks all over the town to gaze upon when the clock hits midnight. For me, that is the best part of New Year’s Eve. For my cat, you guessed right, the worst.

So, we have to take pills from the vet and drug her two times that day so she is a bit sleepy and calmer, otherwise she is hysterical, meowing, panicking and pooping all over the house. It may seem funny but I feel so sorry for her when I see her in such fear. Also, a lot of pets run away, they get scared of the noise. 😦 That is why I am all up for forbidding all the stupid shooting.

Except for the fireworks. 😀

OK, a little less of the fireworks. Fine.

That actually hurt to write.

My baby blog in the big world ❤

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Be the Change.”

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Year and a half ago I didn’t even think about having and actively writing a blog. It just happened. Literary. Just. Happened. Like it is so natural to suddenly have one, like a next step on a stairway, like a sun rising, like eating a third cookie when you are hungry and said you’re gonna have just one. 😉

So natural. It really is. It feels so natural for me to have this blog like it was never otherwise. (I can make a commercial out of this.)

I am saying a lot that a plant needs a time to grow, and change I am going through no matter how frustrating it gets from time to time, can not be forced or pushed forward. It has to go like a plant, in its own pace. I can water it and take care of it, but I can’t make it grow faster. That’s how I feel about this blog. It is in the right place at the right time. I have no idea where all of this writing will lead me, but I don’t stress about it. I know at first I wanted to inspire a lot of people, I wanted to reach out and try hard to share my new found inspiration and love for life. Now, I have learned a lot of things. I am learning all the time. About me, about others, about society… I have learned that it does not take a lot to reach out, that I don’t have to “try hard”. I can just BE. I found out that I am so happy when I receive a comment like “You made my day.” or “You inspired me.” from just one person, whom I know or whom I never met.

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Natalia Rak graffiti in Bialystok, Poland.

I still want to share and inspire. I see it like a wave of love and positive energy going and hugging the entire Globe. When I see my blog is read in parts of the world I don’t know how to pronounce it makes me proud and humble at the same time. I had chances to “go more aggressive” but I really don’t want GMO in my plant I am nurturing here. I hope you understand that and that it doesn’t sound cheesy. Heck, I don’t care if it sound cheesy, I love you for every amazing comment you leave here. You are awesome. We should like, I don’t know… Blog. 😉 ❤

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BTW!

I HAVE to share with you that somewhere in the process of my country crossing from 2014 to 2015 I woke up in 2015, logged on to see my wish came true. 500 of you! ❤ I felt so good! So blessed!

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I like bubbles.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “All Grown Up.”

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illustration by jennifer zetts – etsy

That is kinda my answer.

I wanted to be grown up SO BAD when I was younger. In my family “Stop acting like a child” is an insult. So, I tried and tried and tried. I was so serious – grown ups always are. I worked hard on what I thought was my vision of adult life. I wanted the ticket into that grown up world very much… Too much. I neglected myself. I didn’t listen to my heart. I didn’t pay attention to my soul, to my feelings. I denied myself freedom of living, of choices, of being, of emotions. I took it all away.

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But now in the past few years… I’m bringing it back. And I am such a child. I love that child and that sentence is not anymore an insult to me. I want to remain a child in heart forever. In awe, curious, emotional, creative. I love to swing on swings. I love to hug trees. I love to play games and I am a very sour loser. I absolutely LOVE fireworks. I love balloons and the term of love is not an over statement here. I love animals and playing with them. I am happy when it snows (We had first snow yesterday and a lot of it. ❤ ). I love to sled and run around in snow just to fall on that soft surface. Get red cheeks and build a snowman. I love ice skating. When no one was looking yesterday, I took a bite of snow. It wasn’t yellow, don’t worry. 😀 I did it when I was returning from voting for the president of Croatia. Have I covered both now? Adult and child? Maybe… All I know is that being without that child is awful and boring. Now, sometimes not consciously, I tend to search people who have that child in them and are not ashamed to show it, no matter the age. Their company feels so good. They fill me with joy as I do to them. ❤

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Merry Christmas from Ivy :)

I hope you are well and having a great time… Enjoy! ❤

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That’s me in the red ball and yes, I DO have the Santa Claus hat on. 😀

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Lesson in Croatian ;)

This was in my mind for a few days I couldn’t write, but I didn’t thought I would “come out” with it yet… But then I read today’s Prompt and decided… why not?

One of the reasons I love English is that most OF. IT. HAS. A. LOT. OF. SHORT. WORDS.

On the contrary to Croatian where most of it is kinda… longer.

Example A:

I want to buy new sink. The old one is rusty.

Željela bih kupiti novi umivaonik. Stari je zahrđao.

Example B:

Can you do this now?

Možeš li to napraviti sada?

You see.. Longer words. That makes rapping in Croatian a bit tricky haha 😉 But we are far from some languages like German who have really complex words and grammar.

I don’t think Croatian is easy to learn, but again no language is, unless you are a baby – they seem to pick up on these things quite fast. 😉 Croatian grammar has few advantages compared to English; we don’t have to use “a” or “the” for anything, we don’t have double letters anywhere and most important – we have only one pronunciation for one letter. A is always read as “ah” while in English sometimes is “ah” other times is “a” and sometimes is silent. E is here always “eh” and so on. So, when you learn the alphabet – that’s it. No other ways to read.

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Hi! There I am, in a shape of a flying bird. 😉

What is the harder part? Well… I’d say the grammar of our verbs is pretty complex. You have for e. “love” and you say I love, you love, they love, I have loved, I will love…. Love does not change. In Croatian it is by the order I have mentioned in the previous sentence – volim, voliš, oni vole, ja sam voljela, voljet ću… The verb itself changes.

Also you may noticed the little fella’ “š” up there. We don’t have y, q or w but we have this happy bunch; č, ć, đ, dž, š. I wish I can explain the difference between “č” and “ć”, but you just really have to hear it. We call the first one hard Č and the other soft Ć. It is the same sound, but in English there is only soft Ć – equivalent to “ch”

The same story goes with “dž” and “đ”. First one is hard, and other is soft. In English there is only “đ” and it is first part of the word jam. That’s the example I could think of. “Š” although it looks scary is just “sh”.

I have to have Croatian grammar in my pinky toe because my profession demands that. If you liked this I can make more. I promise to keep them interesting. I haven’t said anything yet about curse words – something we teach foreigners before they even know how to say hello or two letters acting as one – nj i lj.

The truth is that it is good to know a bit of Croatian because you will be understood in 6 countries (Slovenia, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Kosovo, FYR Macedonia). 🙂

Facebook and technical stuff

DP; “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” When was the last time that sentence accurately described your life?

Actually…. TODAY. I set up to a journey of making my ideas (yay!) become reality in the other side of the screen through a device known as “photo editor”. I say its name whispering, with fear in my eyes. Other people whisper about it too, you can hear it in the dark streets in the night… All I wanted to do is transfer the happiness of my thoughts and images into a language I now see I can’t compete with. I don’t know it, and it’s more complicated than Klingon or Naavi (language in Avatar). Photo editors bring to you something you were not aware existed in this life and you can’t get your idea (nope, you can’t) realised if you don’t follow the rules. Evil little things. Eeeeevil.

Writing is easy, blogging and photographing and sharing and caring (cuz it rhymes) is easy.

But…. Oh, I get frustrated with technical stuff, oh I do… 😡

I didn’t start biting the keyboard, but almost.

I just don’t get Photoshop. There, I said it. I don’t know if I am stupid or something but layers confuse me, all those options confuse me. It seems to take FOREVER what I can do in any online quick editor in 10 minutes. Jeeeesh.

I have a Facebook page for this blog, opened since September first, and that page is starting to hate me, I know it. I have spent more than 3 hours (THREE!) making my cover and profile pic today because I have so many ideas which make me all happy and giggly and they need to materialize in this world. And now I am not satisfied. Of course I’m not. I found this online Photoshop and I got these pics through God knows how many changes to make them slightly resemble to my vision. Tired.

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“Well, why don’t you let someone else do it, then Ivy?” you may ask, smart reader. I DID. And I waited. And waited. And waited. Yes, person who supposed to do this, why you make me wait so I have to use Paint???

Life is not fair to me. 😉

I just want to reach in with my hand sometimes and get that bloody cursor to do what I want!

If you wish to check out my “progress” and work of today; check here; IVY MOSQUITO. 

Do you have a FB page? How do you manage it with your blog, do you share posts or more stuff?

How are you in this department, are you a tech-savvy person or like me?

Be Aware of The Impact Negative Energy Has

I had THE PERFECT image for this post and I spent an hour searching for it. Since I can’t look at screens again, that is an hour too long!! And I didn’t find it!!

I remember exactly how it looked like so I will recreate it; it showed bunch of people drawn cartoon-ish, they were black and above them there was a black speech bubble. In the middle of the crown there was a white person with small white speech/thought cloud, but the black big cloud was dripping black ink into the small white bubble.

You get it right?

No matter how positive you are, if you’re surrounded with negative energy and negative people, they will affect you in negative way.

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I read a bunch of stuff about this and they always sound the same, get rid of those people. But what if that is not the option? What if they are your family? What if you are somehow stuck with this people in current situation?

I can only speak from my experience. When you are feeling a bit low, or exhausted, or it isn’t your day, no matter how hard you try to separate yourself from negative energy, it’s gonna affect you because you are weaker than normal. Likewise attract likewise. Negative feeds off negative. What can you do?

I don’t know what all those articles about this topic suggest, but what helps me is to find million things that make me normally happy. No, billion. If negativity has billion things to keep you occupied, bring out billion and one thing that is just plain awesome. It can be anything, from people you love, memories you cherish, things you look forward to, nature, books, movies, animals, pets, good TV shows, funny videos, great people around you and far away….. Everything. Bring your weapons out. 😉 If you’re stuck try new methods. If you don’t like meditating, don’t! Yell, shout, let it all out. (hehe) Go for a run. Or don’t. Play a video game. Zone out. Listen to music that feeds your soul. And most importantly, DON’T listen to negative energy. Shut it out. Literary. Close the door behind it, don’t let it into your space. Imagine as if you have a glass bubble like the one from beginning and your is white, transparent. Nothing gets in. You can observe other people get frustrated, mad, negative, but nothing gets in your bubble.

I desperately wanted to participate in this year’s NaBloPoMo but again, life happened. And I am not feeling well. So, I will participate now in this hour I stole from who knows where and answer to today’s Prompt.

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Thursday, November 27

Where do you see your blog in one year? Five years?

I have no freaking idea. I got worried few days ago about my life in perspective of five years forward, because I am afraid that I won’t be able to do what I have planned. But then I remembered how it was five years ago and I realised that I don’t need to think about that. All is good. All will be good. I have granted myself freedom, I have allowed myself love. And that keeps me breathe deeply and happy. And it is really never too late to do anything I want to, it just gets delayed. 🙂 It is at times, very hard to get pass some things and to endure other. Then I imagine that I am bathing in a sea of love. Just love, everywhere around me. My love, other’s love for me, love in general.

I will keep sharing. I have this “privilege” to talk about something while it is happening. It’s not, yeah I’ve been there so I did this. No, I am walking my own talk. And I hope I will keep inspiring other people, that is my wish.

Off I go. ❤

Mon……ups, Tuesday blues

It is almost 3 am and I am sitting here, not in a particularly comfortable position writing in the dark.

What is going on?

I don’t know.

Has internet and blogosphere trapped me again?

Probably.

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Have been true for many many nights….

All I know is that I feel monday-ish all day and it’s still that day to me because I did not go to sleep yet (my logic), and I am looking at all sorts of challenges, writing, photo, prompts… A lot of stuff just awaits my attention and I can see myself write and write and write days away. 🙂 And that’s doesn’t even include all the things I have begun but aren’t posted yet… I honestly don’t know how it is like to be without inspiration on my blog, I literary have to hold myself up from not writing 10 posts in a day, and I hope I won’t taste the bitter taste of blank mind here.

So, what do I do when it’s too late for anything except bookmarking?

I share anti – blues video for Monday/Tuesday… Any day you need it. 🙂