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Skin color obbsesion

Guess what I did for a couple of hours today?

OK, I’ll help because you can probably guess from the title. ๐Ÿ™‚

I did what I NEVER did before in my life. I was checking up my skin color via internet. And I was not let down. If you have already did this, you know just HOW MANY pages exist on the place I call Zee Intertnetz. Let me tell you how much. A whole lotta too much.

I was overwhelmed.

My thought process went from oh, let me just take this quiz, to “What the actual hell they are talking about?!” As a person who grew up in a place where 99% of the people fit into a certain category, just range from a bit whiter to a bit darker, I can not define other people based on their skin color. I have seen maybe a few Asians and three (?) black guys/twoย black girls (!) in my entire life…

They are sure a rare species here and if they grew up here they are veryย likely to end up working for a modelling agency. The only people who are specifically defined by their characteristic skin type here are Gypsies and people from Kosovo. And with shame, I have to admit that “Gypsy” here stand for an insult, less of a worth, poor man or woman. About 95% of Gypsies in Croatia are poor, living in poor conditions, having a lots of kids, selling clothes on the ground at bigger bus stops and generally, not paying attention to school, education and manners. The biggest problem is getting families to understand how school is good for their kids and that with investing in education they can provide better living standards for their daughters and sons. Who am I kidding now, they simply have no money to send kids to school and that’s how they get labeled – cruelly.

With that being said, I see people as people. Black skin fascinates me, brown skin fascinates me, Latina skin, Asian skin, that beautiful Native American’s skin and all in between fascinates me. You fascinate me.

I was in a complete shock when I found out that there is a good Latina and a bad Latina, that Asian people use soaps for whitening their skin from a very young age, that brown people do not let their skin get in direct contact to sun, that black people use hair products toย straighten their hair, and you get it, that BEING WHITE or WHITER is the goal of many people in the world. I hear about white privilege but what I don’t understand is why we created it? Because rich and influential people were white? Because colonialists were white? Why?

My skin tone is a bit unusual and I have heard question like this:

  • Are you really white?
  • Are you a half black-half white?
  • You look Asian… Where are from?
  • You look like a Latina! What are you?

So yeah… what are you is the question. WTF.

The answer is – I’m HUMAN.

But I felt each and every one of them flattering, and I’m being completely honest right now. I cherish them like compliments. Do I look at them that way because I AM WHITE, or because I never felt what is like to be stigmatized by the color of my skin?

I am telling you, this is a topic I want to discuss for quite some time. So, by this post, the theme is not addressed – it is OPEN. I am ending this post with the amazing speech of an AMAZING actress Lupita Nyong’o.

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This will light up your day, I promise

It seems like I’ve suddenly started to promote my country Croatia furiously haha, but I really, really love to watch Eurovision / Eurosong contests. It is one of my guilty pleasures. Don’t tell. ๐Ÿ˜€

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And this year we are back, participating. With the amazing queen Nina Kraljiฤ‡, who is so incredibly humble, nice and talented. She is the winner of our first “The Voice” contest. I have no idea how many years I was embarrassed by the songs that were chosen to represent us. But not this year! ๐Ÿ™‚

I simply love love love her voice and this song is so magical. It transcends me to a different world, like a dream… I hope you like it as much as I do.

OK, 50% will do. ๐Ÿ˜›

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Missed me?

I thought of writing… “Guess who’s back, back again..” but now I’m just stuck singing Eminem’s Slim Shady all day…

Sooooo, are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room and pretend that the last time I blogged was 8 months ago? Yup. For now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Coz you know when something bad happens and it comes in your memory you kinda go either “lalalalalala” and try to forget, or just straight up to feelz and tears and…so on.

So yeah, we are ignoring it.

Instead I wanted to show you this little jewel of ours. She is 13 years old, she sings and she is Croatian. She won the first Voice for kids here last year and sung the national anthem on a national holiday, but no one thought THIS would happen. I wish Mia ALL the best, and her parents the strength and wisdom to guide her in business as ruthless as showbiz. โค

 

 

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Whoa! My second blogoversary!

I am having huuge problems with my laptop, both with hardware AND internet. Kinda like in offine life also at the moment ๐Ÿ˜€ :/ โ“ โ— โญ …so have some minions singing “happy birthday” in their unique way. ๐Ÿ™‚

This platform means a lot to me and I say, in Swarzenegger’s voice:

I’ll be back.

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Soul remedy

I am honest here on my blog so much. Brutally I think. I do not censor myself, but because I want and tend to focus on overcoming problems rather than “bitching” about them, the tone of my blog is loving. ๐Ÿ™‚

In real life I wish I can say more of what I really think, specially on social networks, but I don’t. The reason is simple. I think they (people who I don’t know from the social network) do not deserve my honest opinion and I am dragging myself into a fight with no real knifes. Virtual fights for me are like that, just draining energy and not really resolving anything. Also, I have this sentence I learned somewhere along the way in college with me in many situations. It says: Make your words soft, because you just might have to eat them one day. I think you get the analogy. ๐Ÿ™‚ With people in my life I am honest most of the time. The time I am withdrawing from telling them something is when I KNOW my words won’t come through.

On another topic, for some unknown reason, my mind is enjoying in USA country music these days (?). Do not ask, I have no idea… I hardy ever listen to it, just because I am not exposed to it like I am to mainstream pop. But, today I have a song (or two) stuck in my head that are just beautiful.

First one is from Sam Hunt – Take your time. I absolutely love the song and the message and the video. Just… He loves her so much that he doesn’t necessarily want to be with her, but rather for her to be happy.

Second one is something opposite. Summer light flirt/love brings out for me thinking about butterflies in my stomach, summer warm skin and short dresses, looks when the words are not needed because you know…and he knows. ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, I know Blake from The Voice USA (I think) so this is cool, watching him “do his thing”.

The last one is also amazing. Girl crush is nothing you think when you hear the title, but reminded me how much homosexuality is still a taboo in this genre of music. Still, beautiful song.

In the light of all of this, I leave you to enjoy and browse more if you please. ๐Ÿ™‚

It is all green here (trees and grass) and warm, and I love it. After a period of three weeks of some difficult time for me concerning my health and a lot (like 99%) of it spent in bed I am feeling better and I am looking forward to going more outside, writing here, chilling… ย Probably inspiring also, because when you have ups&downs you learn. You constantly learn actually. And it is hard to stay patient and not be frustrated with things not going “as you planned”. It is normal, but I TRY to keep that negativity of frustration and bitterness as further as I can, simply because it does nothing for me. I just feel angry. Me being angry does not change the situation, just changes my mood. And keeps me in that twilight zone of feeling helpless and focusing on the negative. So, I let myself feel what I feel but I try and not let these feeling spiral into a circle that does not help me, at all. I hope you understand what I am saying, because I know everyone goes through something they wish would just pass, or pass by them. But it doesn’t. So, hold your chin up my champions. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Love you โค

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New Post!

Hey! Hello! Howdy! Bok! ๐Ÿ™‚

I am not here as often as I was, I think it comes naturally to a blogger. I don’t force it. I miss it, true, but I don’t force it. I do have a lot of post ideas and generally stuff I want to share with you my dear blogging friends, and it will come. Also, photos! Yes, I have been photo-active and I got as a present an external hard drive for all my amateur love for photography if something gets lost or laptop crushes. My first external saving point for my photos… (sniff) Emotional stuff. ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope you are all fine and having fun, enjoying the good stuff and riding successful through the bad ones. I really wish that to you. And that you love and take care of yourself, like you should. It is amazing what love and acceptance can do for you. Like a plant, a flower. If you give it water and sun, it grows, blossoms.. It is beautiful. But if you keep it in the dark and with no water, it suffers. Don’t treat yourself worse than you would treat a plant. โค

I have something I want to share with you this Friday (which is also an International Worker’s Day), so chill, relax and listen to this performance of an talented and sweet Calum Scott. ๐Ÿ™‚

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If you ever loved someone put your hands up…

After a lot of Prompts from Daily Post which left me going “Nope.” ( like the one, write your obituary. I mean… ๐Ÿ˜• ) finally a good one. Aaaand it was on my birthday. Double like.

First of all, my jukebox brain is already singing so…. You already know how this goes. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Love is universal. Love is a savior.

I wish that everyone who does not know what love feels like experience complete and ultimate acceptance and encouragement to be who they are and to build their life around that answer. You who are reading this! Yes, I wish that for you. Love yourself. โค

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “I Want to Know What Loveย Is.”

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Happy Birthday to Me…

Naaah, I’m just kidding! ๐Ÿ˜€ I am not sad, quite the opposite. Plus, you did not think I wouldn’t make a post about my B Day??

Hehe…

I am already enjoying in last few hours and feeling like a birthday girl thanks to my lovely family and boyfriend, I am chillin’ and feeling a bit excited I will admit! Have no idea why tho… Must be the chocolate rush. ๐Ÿ˜‰

So you can see what I am talking about;

IMG_0191

Food porn!

My date of birth is actually very special this year. Don’t believe me? Check it out;

march-14-2015-will-be-epic-pi

EPIC! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Plus, fun fact; I have the same birth day as Albert Einstein. Hihihihihihi ๐Ÿ™‚

For some reason listening to Iggy Azalea gets me pumped up right now, so I’ll see ya!ย Have tons of fun and rest this weekend, that is my birthday wish for you! โค

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No nightmares, just cuddles.

Daily Post… You can’t make a Prompt with song title and not expect for my jukebox brain to do this! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I would like to have more nice dreams, you know. I tend to have nightmares. Well, not maybe nightmares, but definitely bad dreams. Sometimes I wake up shaking. When the dream isn’t that bad, I just have to catch my breath and repeat like in this song… “It was just a dream, just a dream…”

I have no idea why I dream so much. Bad dreams, that is. And most often I remember them.

So, I will not imagine my nightmare choice and my nightmare doors. If I had that choice in my nightmare behind the door I picked there would be something horrible. Instead, I want that the door I pick open up and I realize it is a dream and woke up. No nightmares. Just cuddles. ๐Ÿ™‚

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Just a Dream.”

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So Fancy hehe

To bright up your day, here I am. ๐Ÿ˜€ With a cool and funny video remix of Obama “singing” Fancy from Iggy Azalea. Enjoy!

I personally like Obama, he has relaxed and “close-to-people” attitude I love. As far as his political decisions I am not well informed from other part of the world to be judging. ๐Ÿ™‚

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