Orange. What was first, the color or the name?

IMG_0m882

I love taking photos like this one… When I don’t have to do ANY editing whatsoever, none. 🙂

Also, I totally like the orange theme! It seems that I am surrounded with it since I saw it everywhere when I read this week’s theme for DPchallenge.

Enjoy in my gallery of “orange” while I go and eat one 😎

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Orange you glad it’s photo challenge time?.”

A Cloud Has Landed

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Shadowed.”

IMG_0138

I like fog. It is both scary (specially if you’re driving) and fun… You can imagine different scenery around you, different view on the streets you watch every day. The photo is taken 20th November spontaneously, my sis is checking out the weather AND posing without knowing. 🙂

I have caught a bad cold, so I’m off to bed with my tea. Don’t worry, your comments are waiting for me. 🙂 ❤

Sleeping bee

Have you ever seen a working bee sleeping? Well you have now! 🙂

Fotor1110224320

I went outside on the balcony one day this summer at my bf place. First I didn’t notice anything, but something caught my eye. I thought it was some kind of insect, because I have never seen a bee so still. My bf neighbor has beehives and he collects honey, so it’s not strange to see them there. It was raining and she hid under the column. She was sleeping (Don’t worry I asked her is she just resting, she did not answer – so she was in fact sleeping, and someone who saw me taking close-ups of a bee probably thinks I’m crazy. So, lets move on… 🙂 )

This photo has a deeper meaning than just what you see. Later, I found out that it was raining during both of the periods bees collect honey (You remember how I was complaining about the constant rain? Well, it turns out I was complaining for the nature! 😉 ) So, the bees couldn’t collect honey from the flowers, and there wasn’t enough flowers to begin with with no sunlight most of the time. The result is that this year we have drastically little amounts of honey in the market – which means that the honey is very expensive and we have to import, and people who are in the business with beehives and selling honey had to make major cuts to achieve the possibility to sell honey AND to leave enough for the bees to survive the winter. Turns out, my complaining about the rain – I was complaining for the economy AND for the people also!!

So… Next time I complain here a lot about something… I advise EVERYONE to listen. :mrgreen:

p.s Did anyone notice the WP changes? I am a bit lost….

p.p.s. Have you noticed the change in my photos? wink wink 🙂

Being Me

Today you can write about anything, in whatever genre or form, but your post must mention a dark night, your fridge, and tears (of joy or sadness; your call).

A night is never dark when a fridge is full. 😉

I go and look through a window many times when the sun sets. I like doing that. It is quiet. It’s peaceful. It holds a promise that in a few hours sun will rise again.

Oh, the tears? They come and go, cleaning a soul. I don’t hold them in, I don’t force them out. And when left to be, they have their own tide. 😉

Catching the Sun

Catching the Sun

I took this photo in January. It is safe to say that the temperatures between then and now are not in great distance because the winter wasn’t cold and so far, the spring isn’t warm. ❓

The timing was right, since the sun went down soon after that.

This is an entry for WPC: On the Move

I’m on a pursuit of happiness…

I'm on a pursuit of happiness...

I bookmarked this photo a while ago for a good reason.

This is a part of Strangers Project photo, so if you still don’t know about them – quickly – to my post! ➡ THE STRANGERS PROJECT

I saved it because it says:

The 20s are so weird. I feel unsettled and unsatisfied and inspired and scared and brave and incompetent and underutilized and bored and overwhelmed all the time. I guess everyone feels this way, but it’s still very isolating. If you’re reading this and you feel this way, I hope you know you’re not alone.

That is so relatable to me… And I think to many 20 somethings. 🙂

We all in the end strive to find happiness and be happy. I have found this link about 21 Habits Of Happy People. Honestly, I read only the numbers, not the description, but the article is very much on point. I loved the last sentence the most:

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.

And in that, I want to share my opinion. It seems to me that we are preoccupied with “the search of happiness” and feeling happy in general, and the state of “being happy” is idealised. Everywhere I hear stuff like, be happy, 10 things to make you happy, even in the music industry is a movement of “Happy” by Pharell. I love that, I’m all about positivity.

I know you’re sensing a “but”. 🙂

But! What about being sad? Angry? Nervous? Relieved? Are those feelings less important? Are they less valuable, do they make us less “happy”? I said already in one of my post, how would you know you are happy if you have never been sad?

All emotions are HUMAN. Striving to happiness is beautiful. But life isn’t all white. It’s yin and yang. And do not let your down’s bring the shadow on your up’s, because the balance is what it is really all about.

Love, dream, hope… And don’t forget to look around you in this very moment. You know what often brings happiness? Gratitude. Being present.

At least to me… ❤

 

This is a part of Weekly Photo Challenge and Weekly Word Challenge from Suzie81.

Only Sixteen

While I was growing up, being told that you are “childish” was an insult in my family. So I was doing my best to grow up as soon as possible, to prove that I am all grown up and not a child in any way. Achieve, don’t feel.

I was sixteen when I was diagnosed with a health disorder. I won’t say what is it, but it isn’t eating one.

I was sixteen when my life broke into pieces. When everything I knew, was no longer.

I was sixteen when I felt completely confused and extremely scared.

I didn’t know… what now?

I didn’t realise that the medical confirmation was not made that day, but days and days before.

Years.

That the things I’ve gone through and the life I was living could not be healthy.

I wanted to be “normal” so bad when I was sixteen. But we all do.

I was sixteen and feeling sad.

I was sixteen and though that my life has gone into wrong direction. That it “was not supposed to be like this”.

I was sixteen when I asked for the first time: “Why me, God?”

Little did I know that life does not discriminate.

 

Sixteen was ten years ago.

A lot has changed.

Love has come.

To stay.

And kick out the fears away.

p.s. Leave a heart in comments as a support, it would mean a lot. 🙂

The Evolution Of My Writing

This is by far most personal post I have ever writen on this blog. That is also why it’s a bit long. I am scared. But clicked publish. 🙂 It’s for Weekly Writing Challenge.

I always loved to write… I can’t remember how and when it started, but I always loved to write and read. I have a video tape for those old VCR’s of my third birthday. I wanted to read from newspapers so I can prove I can. AT THREE!

I used to love going to library on the children section, I remember I was wandering around shelves and getting lost in the, oh so many stories that haven’t been read. As I got older I just moved from children section into teen section and continued to get lost. 🙂

In school I loved to write. I would always get a five (that’s an A) from writing…  But high school almost killed the reading-lover I was. We were obligated to read so many books through school plan that we would literary not sleep. I still think to this day, that Croatian school program is one of the toughest in the world, and with integrating young people who finish school and college into business world one of the lousiest.

So, what happened? I had so many books to read which I didn’t like… Try reading War and Peace from Tolstoj in 2 weeks with school and homework, try reading 800 pages of Anna Karenina in two weeks with all other tests in school, and then try to imagine the impact this books are leaving. After I read Kafka’s Transformation and Process I felt sick in my stomach. All those books I mentioned are considered classics and are interesting, but not when obligatory they’re not. There were sooooo many books to read, really. Like 15 of them… I hated them. And my grade was depending on it. To a 17 year old, this is a definition of torture. While myself and few others actually read it, majority of class didn’t and they failed on tests. If I hadn’t loved books and been obsessed with my grades (MUST.GET.IN.GOOD.COLLEGE.) I wouldn’t read them also. Hey… There were far more interesting stuff for me than books. Boys. 😉

But I did get through, with periodic blues and depression from these books which are very hard to read. I still don’t know why the school plan gives that books as obligatory to read in such sort periods of time to people who are discovering who they are and who can’t possibly at that moment appreciate those books. I don’t get it. Someone explain it to me.

What I did do… I wrote. From when I learned how to, I wrote and wrote and wrote… I had a journal, I would write every day… I had two of them, big thick notepads filled with my daily life. I threw one away and kept one. I still have poetry there. Who knows, maybe that will see the day light someday. And I wrote stories. I was always a fan of detective books and romance books, so I would combine the two. I would write a love story but with a huge twist, unexpected. I was also writing “my book” that got deleted somewhere in the process of me not writing it anymore and computer dying… But what I wrote as kid was something I call “school writing”. You know, when you write how wonderful is the spring and how autumn has beautiful colors when you know your teacher will like it and you will get good grade. When, in fact, you couldn’t care less about spring and in autumn you feel like you have been taken away from the beach and sand and fun and now you’re sitting in the stupid classroom with boring stuff to do and you give a tiny rat’s ass about colors of autumn. 🙂 I have started really writing somewhere at the end of elementary (13, 14 years old). I wrote in my free time, I wrote because I wanted to. And I started to write freely in school when I joined journalist section (last year, age 17/ 18). I was rocking the free themes of those articles and having a blast. I still have those high-school newspapers and some elementary ones… I will post my proof later in this post. 😉

Also, we had a lot of writing involved in high school. I remember one time I wrote a school work and all my sentences were beginning with “I wish…” All of them. It was great and now, I wish (!) I have those school works. But they were in special notebooks that we would get only when it was time to write and give back at the end of two classes. What a shame.

My relationship with reading improved when I got in college. I used to go to library for a different reason now – to study in my own time on my own terms. It was quiet, almost like a task that needs to be fulfilled. I would meet up with my friend, or group of friends and we would go to study. Later, when I got so much behind that I didn’t know anyone I started going on my own in the nearest library. I will never forget it. It was winter, the heating was humming next to us few, each on their own desk, with their own papers, books and notes. After a while, I would stop notice the noise from the rest of the library and dive into my assignment. I would forget where I was… Other times, I would be restless. Not in the mood for studying. I would notice everything around me. I would hear the children feet tumbling in the section beside, their voices and attempts to be quiet, careful and all-seeing looks of a librarian guarding the reading room – place where we were. Although it wasn’t a room, it was barely a section divided by a wall of books. I would noticed if it was raining and watched how the rain drops fall on huge massive windows. And my eye would wander off outside, watching street lights and wondering how can it be so different in here and out there. It seemed to me like different life. Funny, isn’t it? 🙂

And here it is; My evolution of writing

 

First, article from school papers from fourth grade elementary school. That would be 9/10 years old. 🙂 My comments are in ITALIC 😉

IMG_0071

My mother

Once upon a time not so long ago, there was a girl (still is) and she met a young man. They fall in love deeply and soon the wedding bells were ringing. (watching so many cartoons 🙂 ) From their love I came into this world.

I was crying all the time and it took a lot of care and work around me. My dad was making money for food and he worked all the time, and my mom took care of me. Beside that she was teaching me how to walk and talk. I was constantly hungry and waking up at night crying. My mom would spent hours to console me, and she had to get up early in the morning. It was even harder when I was sick. Measure her temperature, wash the bottle, no, not that, with cold water, put the tea, cover Iva, put her pacifier in her mouth, no, don’t cry! No, no… shhhhh. Put the wet compress… And not to mention how many more stuff my mom had to endure. She used to tell me often:  „Small bird, loud mouth!“ (It is an expression in Croatian) She was dealing with all my wet problems in diapers. She looked after me, feed me, washed me… She helps me now also, but I am already big and I can do most of the things on my own. So I say to my smart and hard-working mother and all mothers that are like that big thank you for taking care for your children. A mother is something special, she would give everything for her child. And my mother gave everything, everything for me. (Oh so dramatic, little me.)

The second one is from 8th grade. That is 14/15 years old.

IMG_0070

THE COLOR OF LOVE

Love isn’t just in one color for me,  because there are more types of love:

Pink love is gentle love, it is love between a mother and daughter, between brother and sister. She connects us firmly with our parents, brothers and sisters. (I was going a lot in church; every Sunday a mass, every week a religion class in school. When preparing for the sacrament of Confirmation we were really in the church all the time. It was in 8th grade.) This type of love always exist in out hearts, never fades away.

Green love is young  love. It got her color from spring, when everything goes green because just like spring, it comes fast and goes fast not leaving any trace in our life. (But we all remember out first crushes don’t we?)

Blue love is very important. She is created when two young hearts decide to come together in a unbreakable community of marriage. (Again, the religious tone in which I was raised emerges in unexpected place…) They come together like two streams come together in one big blue, clear river.

Purple love is a love of a friend. She is born between two honestly bounded friends.

Yellow love is love of light, hope. It is our love for life, to our very own existence.

And at last, the most important and most beautiful love in the world, the red one. Red like blood. It is a love between a man and a girl who are prepared to give their lives for it. She is like a big flame of fire in their hearts and can not be put away. (I think we had Romeo and Juliet for assignment that year.)

And so, I really don’t know what color is love. But, I do know a color where there is no love at all. That is black. (A-men to that young me.)

And the last one… Oh, the hardest one to pick because this is when we get personal. And I am not ready for my poems to be read to my closest, let alone whole WP community. So, this was carefully picked.

I think I was 19 when I wrote this.

 

I will let my sorrow be

I will let my sorrow fly free

If I let my sorrow fly free

She will bring me back me.

 

 

What about Valentine’s Day?

What about Valentine's Day?

Ahh… Valentine’s Day…. Can you feel the love?? No? Me neither. 😀

It is the most confusing holiday by my opinion. When you’re single, you just straight up hate it. You diss about it and go on and on of how stupid it is. When you are in a relationship, it depends. I think Valentine’s Day puts a LOT of pressure on new couples… It feels like you just started dating and then one of you has a birthday and the other is just… What do I get? Do I buy anything at all? What does she/he even like? And so on… It is stupid for the other part too, trust me. I’m talking from my own experience. It makes it even harder that the Valentine’s Day is so UNORIGINAL that it hurts. It can be original if you want it to be, but we are bombarded with roses and flowers (Which btw. what? It’s still winter…) and teddy bears, and candy, and chocolate boxes… IT FEELS LIKE A LIFE IN A GIANT RED COMMERCIAL.

If you are in a long relationship or marriage, Valentine’s Day can be a nice reminder to stop and appreciate what you have and show affection for each other by spending some quality time together.

The sentence that caught my attention in this weeks Writing Challenge was:

“…It feels strange to be explicitly against a day celebrating love and commitment.”

That is true. We don’t like how it’s made into a PR form of “BUY=LOVE”. But how do we show attention and love for our loved ones? There are many ways, and some of them are buying them stuff that will make them happy. It’s a paradox.

Maybe we should just start thinking of a Valentine’s Day as a day in year when we show gratitude for having the people we love in our lives (partner, family, friends…) and show them that they mean something to us. That we love them. 🙂

DSC_0903

I didn’t want to write a letter to my bf because – and yes I do get like this – I am afraid that if I put our love on spotlight it will get shy and run. Hahahahah, I know it doesn’t make much sense, but I never felt like this and I don’t like to talk about it so I don’t jinx it. 😀

So, he did something amazing. I asked him to write something and he agreed! I was very surprised because he is a man of doing not talking and esspecially not writing. 😀 But he did it, and it is needless to say I was touched and happy. I love you. ❤

10 Things I Love About You:

1. I love the way you smile
2. I love the way you look at me
3. You respect my desicions
4. You’re always there for me
5. I love how we can talk for hours
6. I love the way u dance
7. I love how u get best out of me
8. I love how u tickle me 🙂
9. I love your lips
10. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL