No nightmares, just cuddles.

Daily Post… You can’t make a Prompt with song title and not expect for my jukebox brain to do this! 😉

I would like to have more nice dreams, you know. I tend to have nightmares. Well, not maybe nightmares, but definitely bad dreams. Sometimes I wake up shaking. When the dream isn’t that bad, I just have to catch my breath and repeat like in this song… “It was just a dream, just a dream…”

I have no idea why I dream so much. Bad dreams, that is. And most often I remember them.

So, I will not imagine my nightmare choice and my nightmare doors. If I had that choice in my nightmare behind the door I picked there would be something horrible. Instead, I want that the door I pick open up and I realize it is a dream and woke up. No nightmares. Just cuddles. 🙂

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Just a Dream.”

I dare to dream big!

My childhood friend got married. Not ground breaking news? Let me elaborate…

I had three close childhood friends that I remember vividly outside kindergarten and school… When I was teeny tiny I had two, lets call them A1 and A2, because of their names, which start with A. 🙂

We played hide and seek, learn how to ride bikes and climb trees, tease other boys in the street and let them tease us, play any kind of game with ball and dolls, have picnics, play word games and talk all the way until the street lights went on and it was time to go home. We were a trio and we even had our cats to match which we named but sorta forgot about them so poor cats had to figure out the world without three girls chasing them. Then we start school which was a ground breaking point for our trio because one A was a year younger from other A and me, that meant our world were completely different now. Also, I got a sister which turned my life around, and when I started school, my sister started to talk. That’s a trouble. And more so, she was easier to handle so my mum will “give her” to me to take care of her. You know how hard it is to play AND take care of your little sister? Of course you do. 🙂 That was a turbulent time and our friendship didn’t pass the test. I have found another childhood friend who was between me and my sister in age so she could play with both of us. That was a beginning of another trio that lasted up until I got super old and serious and turned 12. And then 13. No way I could hang out with younger than me, I was a TEENAGER.

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But, friendship between me and A1 still continued, even though not as strong as before. Now it was about real stuff, saying hi in the school hallway, chatting when we would meet in the street, catching up about our lives… So many topics were to be covered. 😉 And then we finished elementary school, we were super big now. Now we hung out almost like adults, talking about boys and our future… Busy schedule divided us but we sure did catch up from time to time. Last time we were chatting I think we were 15 or 16 years old. Talking about high school and stuff… You know… Cool stuff. We were both straight A students with honors so there were not so much partying involved in our conversations, one more reason we got each other. And then I moved from there.

Years passed by. Facebook happened. I had to open Facebook to get extra credit at online media at college. And I got hooked, like everyone else. I knew that she had a boyfriend and left to USA, I have no idea how I knew that. And one day, we befriended on Facebook. It was of course nothing like our childhood friendship, but that is how life works. That doesn’t mean I don’t cherish it. She went on a college for an astrophysicist in California, which even now as I write it sounds like a movie to me.

My childhood friend got married. To a boy she went to USA with. She is living there now. Her wedding cake was an observatory similar to this one;

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She is an astrophysicist. My gummi-gummi partner and hopscotch rival. Isn’t that crazy? And amazing?

I am happy for her but I can’t help but wonder how much lives can go apart. We are taught not to dream big. After high school you can choose, either work or go to college. We started from the same street and look at us now. I don’t feel accomplished compared to her. Actually, I have a feeling like I am just starting my life. Like I have woken up from the Matrix they told me my life should be and now I am making my own life and getting rid of the things that hold me back. No one told me to dream big, I locked myself in my own mental boundaries. I can see that now. I find her to be successful. Maybe she is not. But the mere fact she dared to dream and conquer her fear of unknown and worked hard for it got my full respect.

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Also, I know me now better than ever before. I know when I go after/into something I dive in. I am learning not to force it, not to push it. Patience is a virtue hard to treasure when you want something so badly. What I have learned is that nothing I forced to happen doesn’t make me happy. It makes me happy for that second I accomplish it. It doesn’t make me proud of me. With patience when stuff happen, I am proud. I am happy. I am fulfilled. No one tells you that patience and loving yourself is important. If you’re lucky they do, but no one can teach you how to achieve that. That is a path you walk alone. Good thing you have me at the same path so we can chat while we walk. 🙂

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What is successful to you?

Having a job? A boyfriend/girlfriend? A spouse, kids? Chasing your dream? Daring to dream big?