Skin color obbsesion

Guess what I did for a couple of hours today?

OK, I’ll help because you can probably guess from the title. 🙂

I did what I NEVER did before in my life. I was checking up my skin color via internet. And I was not let down. If you have already did this, you know just HOW MANY pages exist on the place I call Zee Intertnetz. Let me tell you how much. A whole lotta too much.

I was overwhelmed.

My thought process went from oh, let me just take this quiz, to “What the actual hell they are talking about?!” As a person who grew up in a place where 99% of the people fit into a certain category, just range from a bit whiter to a bit darker, I can not define other people based on their skin color. I have seen maybe a few Asians and three (?) black guys/two black girls (!) in my entire life…

They are sure a rare species here and if they grew up here they are very likely to end up working for a modelling agency. The only people who are specifically defined by their characteristic skin type here are Gypsies and people from Kosovo. And with shame, I have to admit that “Gypsy” here stand for an insult, less of a worth, poor man or woman. About 95% of Gypsies in Croatia are poor, living in poor conditions, having a lots of kids, selling clothes on the ground at bigger bus stops and generally, not paying attention to school, education and manners. The biggest problem is getting families to understand how school is good for their kids and that with investing in education they can provide better living standards for their daughters and sons. Who am I kidding now, they simply have no money to send kids to school and that’s how they get labeled – cruelly.

With that being said, I see people as people. Black skin fascinates me, brown skin fascinates me, Latina skin, Asian skin, that beautiful Native American’s skin and all in between fascinates me. You fascinate me.

I was in a complete shock when I found out that there is a good Latina and a bad Latina, that Asian people use soaps for whitening their skin from a very young age, that brown people do not let their skin get in direct contact to sun, that black people use hair products to straighten their hair, and you get it, that BEING WHITE or WHITER is the goal of many people in the world. I hear about white privilege but what I don’t understand is why we created it? Because rich and influential people were white? Because colonialists were white? Why?

My skin tone is a bit unusual and I have heard question like this:

• Are you really white?
• Are you a half black-half white?
• You look Asian… Where are from?
• You look like a Latina! What are you?

So yeah… what are you is the question. WTF.

The answer is – I’m HUMAN.

But I felt each and every one of them flattering, and I’m being completely honest right now. I cherish them like compliments. Do I look at them that way because I AM WHITE, or because I never felt what is like to be stigmatized by the color of my skin?

I am telling you, this is a topic I want to discuss for quite some time. So, by this post, the theme is not addressed – it is OPEN. I am ending this post with the amazing speech of an AMAZING actress Lupita Nyong’o.

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Twitter? Sorry no I don’t eat that

 

I realized today that I have been ignoring the existence of Twitter for so long I had to check up how to write Twitter 😂 It is a thing here in Balkans, we just DON’T tweet. We do FB, yup, we do Instagram, oh yeah we do YouTube but but but but we do not do Twitter. MySpace was more popular here than tweeting lol. Also there is a second problem with it, we LOOOOOOVE to talk. By we I mean the region, Croats, Bosnians & Herzegovinians, Serbs, Montenegrians… Talking is how we do life. If your family is quiet and you live on Balkans, congrats to you! That is maybe also a reason we have to remind ourselves to use Twitter, and companies here kinda force it (but it is just not working)…

You see? Even their bird says only “tweet”!

How am I supposed to fit my thoughts in 140 letters??? Wait, is it 140 or 160? …….It’s 140, I checked. 😊 #proud

I started to write this on Twitter and got into -300 something before I looked up and saw it. Nope, there is no way I can say/write everything that’s on my mind right now in 140 letters. Man, even WordPress is not on my side today! You see? You see how long is this post already? 

Despite all the problems I am facing I am ready to act. I love love all of guys and girls and no I haven’t forget about you, and I love writing, making you and me happy, inspiring, telling just how it is, making challenges, completing weekly and daily Prompts…

GO TO CATEGORIES TO REMIND YOURSELF OF ME MYSELF AN I 😉 

• COLUMN FOR DEEP STUFF, GETTING OUT OF MY HEAD ON A VIRTUAL PAPER AND INSPIRING
• PHOTOGRAPHY IF YOU ARE INTO IT – the feedback is much encouraged 🙂
• DIY STUFF
• AND HERE IS RANDOM TURTLE BOB WHO IS HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU WITH RANDOM POSTS, JUST CLICK HIM #bobisfamous

Damm I write so slow on my – oh so not English keyboard – gotta get my game on, get my typing on mad like it was before.

 

Okidoki Artichoky

Can you pronounce the title?

(okey-doukey arti-choky)

I say this quite often. 😀 Maaaaybe, just maybe I’ll film myself saying it, huh?…. Yesterday was kinda awesome, because I dared and opened YouTube editor for the first time. WHOA! 😉 Played with it some time, and all I can say is that – I WANT MORE!

I want to learn editing so bad…. Has anything stop you lately from doing what you want to do? If it did, I get you. I get you real bad. Past three years was/are something I need to wrap my head around in a way that I can learn and respect the balance of my wishes and limitations at the moment. A moment of three years I guess?

I remember hearing this song when you could hear cool music only by listening to radio with a tape ready to record something you like. Or buy audio tapes. I got goosebumps when I heard this song for the first time, I remember that exact moment and situation. I was about 12 and I was laying down in bed I was sharing with my sister in an old small house. I starred at the ceiling and this song gave me hope. I felt I could see the sun he was waiting.  Music does that to me… It can switch my mind towards the good feelz. What do you do to overcome something traumatic for you? What helps you? I honestly want to know… 🙂

My baby blog has been neglected for some time and I can not tell you how much I am grateful right now. I CAN WRITE!!! So freaking awesome… ❤

Now there are “few” things stopping me from going in GO mode, and I respect that. I am just so extremely glad I am not in a hospital anymore and that I finally can watch at computer screen without getting a migraine five minutes after. Yay! I have also ignored social media and let me just tell you how liberated I feel being away from Facebook for 99% of my time. It really changed my priorities and got me off of that “check out FB” routine all the way. Life is better with as less facebooking as possible. Is facebooking a word? Well, now it is 😀 I super duper ignored other social networks that are available too. I was really on with my offline mode – party coz I just couldn’t go online physically and mentally, before you think I have that strong will power hahaha…

GO TO CATEGORIES TO REMIND YOURSELF OF ME MYSELF AN I 😉 

• COLUMN FOR DEEP STUFF, GETTING OUT OF MY HEAD ON A VIRTUAL PAPER AND INSPIRING
• PHOTOGRAPHY IF YOU ARE INTO IT – the feedback is much encouraged 🙂
• DIY STUFF
• AND HERE IS RANDOM TURTLE BOB WHO IS HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU WITH RANDOM POSTS, JUST CLICK HIM #bobisfamous

I sincerely hope we get to chatting real soon, I missed you! ❤

Keep your chin up! Love ya

This will light up your day, I promise

It seems like I’ve suddenly started to promote my country Croatia furiously haha, but I really, really love to watch Eurovision / Eurosong contests. It is one of my guilty pleasures. Don’t tell. 😀

.

And this year we are back, participating. With the amazing queen Nina Kraljić, who is so incredibly humble, nice and talented. She is the winner of our first “The Voice” contest. I have no idea how many years I was embarrassed by the songs that were chosen to represent us. But not this year! 🙂

I simply love love love her voice and this song is so magical. It transcends me to a different world, like a dream… I hope you like it as much as I do.

OK, 50% will do. 😛

Missed me?

I thought of writing… “Guess who’s back, back again..” but now I’m just stuck singing Eminem’s Slim Shady all day…

Sooooo, are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room and pretend that the last time I blogged was 8 months ago? Yup. For now. 😉

Coz you know when something bad happens and it comes in your memory you kinda go either “lalalalalala” and try to forget, or just straight up to feelz and tears and…so on.

So yeah, we are ignoring it.

Instead I wanted to show you this little jewel of ours. She is 13 years old, she sings and she is Croatian. She won the first Voice for kids here last year and sung the national anthem on a national holiday, but no one thought THIS would happen. I wish Mia ALL the best, and her parents the strength and wisdom to guide her in business as ruthless as showbiz. ❤

 

 

Whoa! My second blogoversary!

I am having huuge problems with my laptop, both with hardware AND internet. Kinda like in offine life also at the moment 😀 ❓ ❗ ⭐ …so have some minions singing “happy birthday” in their unique way. 🙂

This platform means a lot to me and I say, in Swarzenegger’s voice:

I’ll be back.

Soul remedy

I am honest here on my blog so much. Brutally I think. I do not censor myself, but because I want and tend to focus on overcoming problems rather than “bitching” about them, the tone of my blog is loving. 🙂

In real life I wish I can say more of what I really think, specially on social networks, but I don’t. The reason is simple. I think they (people who I don’t know from the social network) do not deserve my honest opinion and I am dragging myself into a fight with no real knifes. Virtual fights for me are like that, just draining energy and not really resolving anything. Also, I have this sentence I learned somewhere along the way in college with me in many situations. It says: Make your words soft, because you just might have to eat them one day. I think you get the analogy. 🙂 With people in my life I am honest most of the time. The time I am withdrawing from telling them something is when I KNOW my words won’t come through.

On another topic, for some unknown reason, my mind is enjoying in USA country music these days (?). Do not ask, I have no idea… I hardy ever listen to it, just because I am not exposed to it like I am to mainstream pop. But, today I have a song (or two) stuck in my head that are just beautiful.

First one is from Sam Hunt – Take your time. I absolutely love the song and the message and the video. Just… He loves her so much that he doesn’t necessarily want to be with her, but rather for her to be happy.

Second one is something opposite. Summer light flirt/love brings out for me thinking about butterflies in my stomach, summer warm skin and short dresses, looks when the words are not needed because you know…and he knows. 🙂 Also, I know Blake from The Voice USA (I think) so this is cool, watching him “do his thing”.

The last one is also amazing. Girl crush is nothing you think when you hear the title, but reminded me how much homosexuality is still a taboo in this genre of music. Still, beautiful song.

In the light of all of this, I leave you to enjoy and browse more if you please. 🙂

It is all green here (trees and grass) and warm, and I love it. After a period of three weeks of some difficult time for me concerning my health and a lot (like 99%) of it spent in bed I am feeling better and I am looking forward to going more outside, writing here, chilling…  Probably inspiring also, because when you have ups&downs you learn. You constantly learn actually. And it is hard to stay patient and not be frustrated with things not going “as you planned”. It is normal, but I TRY to keep that negativity of frustration and bitterness as further as I can, simply because it does nothing for me. I just feel angry. Me being angry does not change the situation, just changes my mood. And keeps me in that twilight zone of feeling helpless and focusing on the negative. So, I let myself feel what I feel but I try and not let these feeling spiral into a circle that does not help me, at all. I hope you understand what I am saying, because I know everyone goes through something they wish would just pass, or pass by them. But it doesn’t. So, hold your chin up my champions. 😉

Love you ❤

New Post!

Hey! Hello! Howdy! Bok! 🙂

I am not here as often as I was, I think it comes naturally to a blogger. I don’t force it. I miss it, true, but I don’t force it. I do have a lot of post ideas and generally stuff I want to share with you my dear blogging friends, and it will come. Also, photos! Yes, I have been photo-active and I got as a present an external hard drive for all my amateur love for photography if something gets lost or laptop crushes. My first external saving point for my photos… (sniff) Emotional stuff. 🙂

I hope you are all fine and having fun, enjoying the good stuff and riding successful through the bad ones. I really wish that to you. And that you love and take care of yourself, like you should. It is amazing what love and acceptance can do for you. Like a plant, a flower. If you give it water and sun, it grows, blossoms.. It is beautiful. But if you keep it in the dark and with no water, it suffers. Don’t treat yourself worse than you would treat a plant. ❤

I have something I want to share with you this Friday (which is also an International Worker’s Day), so chill, relax and listen to this performance of an talented and sweet Calum Scott. 🙂

Happy Earth Day :)

It is spring here in full bloom, and I know I am not here. Maybe even you noticed my dear blogger friends. 😉

I have lots and lots of great photos I made but this beautiful green scenario that is going on outside my windows is keeping me away from computer. Not that I complain, and rest assure that I will be back. In Schwarzenegger’s voice. Just so you know how serious I am. 😀

But, I could not miss the chance to somehow pay tribute to Earth Day, celebrating something kind of important. You know, nothing big, just our home in this universe. 😉 Here is the post from last year, where you can find out about meditation page Master Shift. There is no bad day to find out about them honestly, so let it maybe be today. 🙂 LAST YEAR POST

So, enjoy, have fun, LIVE FOR TODAY because that is all we really have.

Love ya,

Ivy

Easter Blur

Weekly Photo Challenge: Blur

Happy Easter to everyone who is celebrating. And to all of you who are not. 😉

I was raised very religiously. Catholic. Easter is now a holiday when we eat a lot of traditional food made for this occasion. Easter then was a sequel to many visits to the church, holy sacraments and thinking about suffering, sacrifice, love, loss, forgiveness.

I am thinking a lot lately about my childhood. I’m going back in my mind to places and situations that defined me and defined some of the challenges I am facing today. I’m going back in order to go forward. I think I’m at a crossroad, many of which we encounter. Is it a crossroad if there is no more roads than one? I still feel like things are changing and about to change. And I welcome the change. It was long waited. 🙂

This is my 365th post. Wow. Never thought there would be this many…